Preface: After tearfully presenting this at my brother Daniel’s funeral, I have been asked for copies of this reflection and am sharing it here. Daniel became my brother 23 years ago when I married his sister. I had known him before that, and he was 8 when Katie and I got married. I was invited to read a scripture and chose Isaiah 43, as it came upon the screen and spoke to me the last good day I was with him. Daniel is an amazingly selfless young man whose impact in making my kids and me better people could not be overstated or more appreciated.
This is my personally developed expanded reflection/commentary/paraphrase with my own translation/paraphrase of the scripture itself.
Isaiah 43:1-2
Now this is what the Lord, the one who created and formed you, says to you,
Do not be afraid, for I love you and have rescued you. I have called you by name.
You are mine.
This does not mean that everything will be easy. In this life, you will have trouble, you will face that which is not only difficult, but unbearably so.
You won’t understand. You will pass through waters of chaos and rivers of sorrow. At times it will be overwhelming. You will walk paths where fires blaze and all hope seems lost.
But, you are mine.
I have called you by name. I am not far off. I am as close as you will allow, as close as each and every one of your very breaths, each and every moment.
I am with you. I will never leave you. I will not forsake you.
I will walk with you through the fires, I will join you in the flames,
I will be right there with you in the waters, fully drenched as I lead you through the rivers of sorrow.
For, you see, your sorrows are my sorrows.
Believe it or not, I do care; more than you could know. You are my child, and my heart breaks when your does.
Like any child with their parent, I know you won’t understand. You’ll get mad with me, disappointed with me, rail and rebel against me, and that’s ok. I can take it. I’m still here, with open arms, waiting to hold you when the sorrow has exhausted you and you’re ready to fall into my waiting arms once again.
When you wonder what I’m like, when you question my character, look to my son. Any thoughts of me that do not look like Jesus are false, misguided, wrong. See how he doesn’t avoid anyone’s pain, but rather joins them in their pain, confusion, and heartache, regardless of who they are. He joins them in their sorrows and difficulty, steps into their chaos and out of it somehow brings order, healing, and new life.
This is how we work. For he and I are one. We don’t avoid the pain, but rather bring new, beautiful things out of it, determined that the hurt, the pain, and the sorrow will not go to waste, will not be for nothing.
For you see, little one, your love is why you hurt. Even when death comes, your love persists. Your love is a mighty, big love, a love bigger than death itself.
And, my love for you is bigger than you could know, comprehend, or even imagine.
So grieve, not as the world grieves, as those who have no hope. But do grieve, let its waves pass through you, and let the healing tears of pain and sorrow flow.
Don’t compulsively avoid the pain, and don’t stop, don’t get stuck, afraid to go any further. Rather, continue to follow me through the rivers, amidst the flames. I am with you. I will lead you through the darkness.
I promise, there is light on the other side.
Do not be afraid. I love you. I have rescued you. I have called you by name. You are mine.
I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and though the rivers flood, they will not overcome you. You wil not be scorched when you walk through the fire, the flames will not consume you.
In this world you will have trouble. But, take heart, my love is big enough to overcome the world.